I think, at some point, you have to know when to cut your losses. As it turns out this football thing was a terrible idea. It is so life consuming and the furthest thing from fun. Jeremy and I would be loving it if Kaleb wasn't HATING it. He's pretty good, extremely competitive, and he absolutely hates it! This weekend was just has been the straw that broke the camel's back. Apparently Kaleb was really tired (he plays both ways, the whole game.....he and about 4-5 other kiddos go both ways the whole game) and asked the coach how much time was left in the game because he was tired and they were losers. Something to that effect, anyway, we'll never know what really happened, because the coach is a dramatizing, negative jerk, and Kaleb is six. So of course we chewed Kaleb up one side and down the other after he ALREADY felt like crap because his team just got stomped 33 to zero. Tough morning, especially when you are six. He's learning some tough lessons. Lessons, neither Jeremy nor I think we ought to be having to teach a six year old.
And this, friends, is merely the TIP of the iceberg. It's been nothing but terrible, and Kaleb's done nothing but hate pretty much every minute of it past the days we stopped conditioning and started playing. You know, right when the actual fun was supposed to start? That is when it stopped being fun for him. A great deal of it is the coach, who, for all intents, is a good guy, but he is just terrible with young kids. He couldn't be MORE negative if he tried. In spite of me finally working up the courage to tell him he really needed to try and say some positive things to the kids, he just doesn't have it in him. All he could focus on at the end of the game was "one of leaders" comments about being losers. Don't get me wrong, Kaleb was out of line, but WHY would you make that the focus of your final thoughts on the game in front of 30 parents and 13, 4, 5, and 6 year olds? FIND SOMETHING, ANYTHING, positive, and focus on that! Why doesn't he get that? The kids HATE him, have no desire to please him, and they aren't having any fun. He was aggravated by the team mom's attempt to counter ALL his negativity by giving the kids little stickers to point out all the GOOD things they did. It was great, and he was annoyed by it!!!
I'm trying so hard not to be the parent who complains about the coach (don't all parents think the coach is terrible when the team can't win?). I'm trying so hard to do the right thing and to do the right thing by my kid. Unfortunately, I'm not sure those are the same two things right now. NOTHING is as it should be. Absolutely nothing. I could sit here and type a day long list of the issues we've faced over the last 4 weeks, any one of which are reason to be aggravated and seriously annoyed, but the combination of which are maddening and reason to cut and run. THIS after my husband and I spend 30 minutes teaching our kid a verbal lesson on the difference between a loser and winner while he bawls his little eyes out, has to apologize to a grown man who treats him like complete dirt, and suck it up and act like a big boy in front of his grandparents and our friends. It was just awful. Awful. And I have this sweet, sensitive kid that does not deserve this. And I'm really afraid that I'm going to lose the sweet and sensitive part of that kid if we keep pushing him to "be tough." He, as the quarterback, has taken to yelling at his linemen to "get lined up!" when, before, he was crushed by the coach repeatedly yelling it at all of them. He was so upset, both crying about and praying for Jeremy's stepdad, who had surgery on Tuesday, because he knew he was in a lot of pain. I LOVE that kid, and I want to do right by him.
Right now it feels like 'right by him' is to cut and run. I'm sure that will be easy to explain after my speech about losers being quitters.
I always say "Sometimes, being a parent is hard." That's wrong. Being a parent isn't that hard. Being a GOOD parent is hard. It's really hard right now, when I don't know which wrong choice is the right choice. It's wrong to quit, because I hate the message it sends, and it's wrong to keep doing this because I hate the message it is sending. sigh
